Loving Yourself – The Source of Happiness

I start every day by going within and making a connection with myself. I sit quietly in meditation and watch as different emotions come up. Then I check: Is that someone else’s emotion or feeling in my space, or is it mine? If it is someone else’s it will easily release. If it is mine then I love and accept myself for what I am feeling. Anger, grief and other difficult emotions are feelings—and should be given the same space that we give feelings of joy and gratitude. Feelings are just feelings and are part of a normal human experience.

When we accept our negative feelings and love the part of our ourselves that is experiencing them, then our body relaxes and it is easier to move through those emotions instead of letting them fester and dwelling on them further.

As you experience an emotion during reflection, ask yourself, ‘What is it that I am wanting?’ If everything is love or a call for love then give it to yourself. Ask yourself, ‘What does this emotion want?’ Perhaps you are feeling invalidated. Don’t wait for validation to come from someone else, give it to yourself.

I was sitting in a circle and a woman came in very upset. She said she had been on the spiritual path for many years and had been working very hard on her spiritual growth. She was distraught because she was not feeling happy. She went on to recount her story about how disappointed she was with herself and continued to spiral downward. People around the room immediately jumped in to console her and give her advice. I realized that the frustration she was feeling was caused by not accepting the entire spectrum of her emotions as valid. She was punishing herself for not being perfect—for being human. She was resisting her full range of feelings and had begun to judge herself for experiencing something other than happiness at every moment. Her punishment was far worse the the original experience that started her on her path. I explained this to her and she immediately relaxed and was able let it go.

Behind every negative thought is a lack. For example I had a falling out with a friend. There was no way to speak to that person and heal the situation. So I asked myself, ‘What do I want from this person?’—I want her to appreciate all the work I’ve done for her, to see me as an intelligent, kind and wise person. So I closed my eyes and I said, ‘Laura, you are appreciated for all that you do. You are a kind and wise person and I love you very much.’ I was then able to let go of the situation. I was able to complete the closure of the relationship without building requirements that someone else was not able to fulfill. I was full and content.

By being your best cheerleader you gain great power to express your highest truth. You are free to live and enjoy life.